Internal Family System
When you look at a baby, what do you see?
Innocence? Joyful purity?
They want to love, be loved, and learn. Babies and toddlers are full of trust and curiosity. We see their humanity, their true essence.
This is how we all arrive, and yet throughout life we experience hurts and injuries which affect us.
Sometimes well-intentioned adults make comments which upset us.
For example, a young girl may be just learning to write, and her teacher comes up behind her and says, “Oh, that’s OK, but I think you can do better”. Immediately a part of the young girls thinks “Oh, no, she thinks I’m not good enough. I know if I’m really nice to her and behave perhaps she won’t say anything nasty”.
Then another part within the girl thinks “Oh, I don’t really care, what’s the point? I’m not going to try”.
And what happens is all these parts start to smother the essential true nature of the girl, and sometimes these parts take over the girl’s view of the world.
And so, Internal Family System therapy is about getting to know these parts, understanding their beliefs and behaviours. Then as the parts realise they are valued, they tend to soften and allow our true essence to re-emerge.
Our true essence is referred to as the Self in IFS and has wonderful qualities such as wisdom, compassion, courage. When we allow ourselves to be led and guided by our true nature, our Self, we can make authentic decisions and we feel a sense of being aligned with our true values.
Innocence? Joyful purity?
They want to love, be loved, and learn. Babies and toddlers are full of trust and curiosity. We see their humanity, their true essence.
This is how we all arrive, and yet throughout life we experience hurts and injuries which affect us.
Sometimes well-intentioned adults make comments which upset us.
For example, a young girl may be just learning to write, and her teacher comes up behind her and says, “Oh, that’s OK, but I think you can do better”. Immediately a part of the young girls thinks “Oh, no, she thinks I’m not good enough. I know if I’m really nice to her and behave perhaps she won’t say anything nasty”.
Then another part within the girl thinks “Oh, I don’t really care, what’s the point? I’m not going to try”.
And what happens is all these parts start to smother the essential true nature of the girl, and sometimes these parts take over the girl’s view of the world.
And so, Internal Family System therapy is about getting to know these parts, understanding their beliefs and behaviours. Then as the parts realise they are valued, they tend to soften and allow our true essence to re-emerge.
Our true essence is referred to as the Self in IFS and has wonderful qualities such as wisdom, compassion, courage. When we allow ourselves to be led and guided by our true nature, our Self, we can make authentic decisions and we feel a sense of being aligned with our true values.
“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”
― Carl R. Rogers, On Becoming a Person: A Therapist's View of Psychotherapy |